Non-Monogamous Relationships

Kink, Poly & Non-Monogamous Relationships

TGC can help people master the art of “non-traditional” relationships. From relationships that are open, poly or non-monogamous, to swinger, kink, and non-sexual romantic relationships.

For cases that are not kink/poly/non-traditional, but are related to sexual functioning, disorder, or sexually disordered behaviors, our therapists are trained and ready to help you in every step of the way – with compassion and respect for your process of growth, healing and self-discovery.

According to an article by Susan Wright, the most frequent kink behaviors engaged in by 75% to 90% of practitioners were bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, spanking, leather, role-paying, exhibitionism polyamory, clothing fetish, and voyeurism.” – Psychology Today.

Are you wanting to explore opening up your relationship?

What is Kink?

Great question! Kink is a broad term used to describe sex outside the “norm”. Norm is subjective; what is “kinky” to one person may be “vanilla” (non-kinky) to another person. Commonly when people refer to being “kinky” they are referring to sexual activities that may include: BDSM, fetishes such as feet, role playing, engaging in sex with other couples, power play between a “top” and a “bottom” – you name it, there are lots of ways couples and individuals, have “kinky” fun. Kink is not pathology or illness; it’s role playing, experimenting and having sexual fun, and sharing connection, with a trusted partner.

Can Poly/ Open Relationships really work?

Poly and open relationships can and do work. It takes a LOT of communication, honesty and is just as much work (if not more) than being in a monogamous relationship. We highly recommend to our poly and open couples that they educate themselves (or we can help with education in session) with the best known writing and research on open relationships.

Those books include: The Ethical Slut; Topping; Bottoming; More than Two; Polyamory in 21st Century. These books serve as excellent handbooks for handling everything from jealousy, to what to do when one person has more suitors/ dates than the other.

This is not a form of cheating.  Cheating is where a person acts in an inappropriate sexual way, to someone else, without the permission or knowledge of all parties. So that your friend who has trysts with strangers at the bar, who says that they are poly, but the spouse doesn’t know it yet, isn’t actually “Poly” or “Open”; that is plain cheating. Conversely, when couples discuss and decide together that they may see/ love/ have sex with other people, they communicate consent for this to happen, and under what circumstances. 

Monogamous, Poly or Open – every couple is different and has their own set of rules. Poly and open relationships are no different.

Some define Poly/ Open/ Non-Monogamy as a relationship orientation – just like sexual or gender orientation. It’s oftentimes something people just feel internally – the desire to be polyamorous is, at its root, the desire to love more than one person. And, is that so odd, really at the end of the day? Most of us love more than one. More than one kid, more than one parent, more than one friend. And, some people decide to take that loving more than one, to apply in their romantic or sexual relationships as well.