Picture this: a mom who diligently takes care of everything and everyone in the house—except herself.
A charismatic public speaker who has difficulty getting deeper with his close friends and family. A quiet teenager who never causes disruption at home or school but who seems to consistently be surrounded by friends who treat her poorly. Each of these individuals—and every individual—has strengths and weaknesses.
You, like many others, may find no difficulty in identifying your weaknesses. In fact, you may find it so easy to do so that it may feel overwhelming; however, in the inverse, every weakness is a strength. Take a moment to imagine one or two things that you wish that you could do better or that you feel are weaknesses. Next, try to picture how that same weakness may show up in other areas of your life as a strength.
For example:
- “I feel like I’m so scatterbrained; it’s hard for me to stay focused on one task.” → I find multi-tasking much easier than others seem to, allowing me to work on multiple projects at once
- “I feel like I’m always disappointing people by saying no.” → I am able to understand what my limits are and set boundaries
- “I feel like I can’t help but put more effort into my relationships than is returned to me.” → I care deeply about the people in my life, and I want to make sure their needs are met
You may feel like changing a weakness into a strength ignores the impact that that weakness has on your life—hold onto that thought; we’ll return to it in a moment. Before we do, let’s try the reverse: identifying a strength and then finding how it may be a weakness.
For example:
- “I’m very easygoing—I never make things about me.” → I feel like I can’t identify or express what I want and need
- “I always put work or school first, no matter the circumstances.” → I feel like other parts of my life suffer because I don’t prioritize them
- “I’m blunt—I will always be honest about what I think and feel.” → I feel like sometimes I say things wrong or say something I don’t mean, because that’s how I felt in the moment
So I Have Strengths And Weaknesses. What Now?
Knowing that strengths and weaknesses are each one side of the same coin is only half the battle. Now that we know that, where do we go from there?
We can only begin to change our behaviors when we understand the purpose that they are serving in our life. What need or role is your weakness fulfilling? For the stressed-out mom who can never seem to ask for or accept help, she may find that doing everything herself gives her a sense of control and makes her feel needed by those around her. The charismatic public speaker who can’t talk about his personal struggles without making a joke about them could discover that he is using humor as a shield to avoid being hurt. And the teenager who stays friends with people who put her down may feel that being quiet and not making waves feels safer than sticking up for herself.
Once we understand all of our behaviors as responses to our environment—tempts to fill our needs—we can change our response by finding other ways to fill those needs. You don’t need to change everything about yourself. You can honor your strengths and the ways that your behavior serves or protects you while also planning for how to compensate for the ways that behavior may be hindering you. This may look like challenging yourself to show up in new ways, or it may look like giving yourself grace and compassion to provide the space for you to respond in ways you aren’t used to.
How Can Therapy Help?
Everyone has the ability to change. Individual therapy can be the first step towards healing. With a therapist, you can explore your own strengths and weaknesses in a supportive environment and begin to do the deep work of understanding yourself and changing your life. At Transformative Growth Counseling, we are here to help.
Transformative Growth Counseling is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that offers in-person and virtual counseling in Illinois and Florida. We accept Medicaid and Medicare and offer sliding scale options.
Schedule your appointment today online at Transformative Growth Counseling, email us at contact@transformativegrowth.org, or give us a call at 630-423-6010.